Numb me now

6am cycle class brought exhilaration today. I was dancing on my bike. Elated. Feeling the groove. In the zone. Free. The joys of recovery; to exercise with happiness instead of grueling compulsion.  

How quickly a day can change. 

I was trying to watch a movie at home but kept being interrupted by children. I actually really needed some down time and I was getting so frustrated by thwarted attempts. Insert twisties and Tim tams. Yep it went through my mind that this wasn’t a good option. Again. A little unsettled after my poor choices I took the kids out and I received some tragic news. 

News that makes you question the world and the evil that can end life by another’s hand. I am rocked. I can’t deal. Alcohol enters the mix. But I have stopped. No more. 

I need some TLC and rest. Please family, I need your kindness. 

Grieving. 

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